11 Months (Don’t Believe It)
The Blip.
They went DOWN. My numbers, for the first time ever, went DOWN.
A miracle?
12 Months (Don’t Believe It)
Conflagration!
My partner and I watched the Palisades burn, then then other areas of Los Angeles, threatening his parents home in Granada Hills. We watched as so many of our friends were devastatingly affected.
We watched as my beloved Temple and place of worship and service, Lake Shrine, was surrounded by flames (it is, as of this writing, still standing)…
13 Months (don’t believe it)
This is how it happened for me.
Meditating, yoga, my practice. Barefoot in the grass. And then, just like that: “Divine Mother, I am now entirely yours.”
I felt, finally, that I no longer had attachment to anything that was not the will of God. I felt, finally, an immense freedom and a humble devotion.
15 Months. 14 Months (don’t believe it)
In this new “19 Months” update, I cover the last two months with a blog that is split into two sections - Illusion and Reality.
The question is: which will you read first?
ILLUSION
Lately I feel like I have been placed in a class with a whole bunch of advanced students - despite being ill-equipped to keep up with them…
16 Months (don’t believe it)
Every step was just plain sacred, a foot into the future, into the mystic, as Van Morrison might say. The Canadian woods and lakes nurturing me, the Healed Healer, the dreamer, the body in search of a miracle.
So much space for meditation and prayer. Green silence, area aria, depth explosions in my gratified soul.
The days count down, homesick sometimes, but never, ever wanting it to end. So slow. I’m home in my body. Rebirth.
17 Months (don’t believe it)
Silent as angels.
Suddenly there were eight people around me. Lying on the floor wrapped in a blanket, waiting for my Coherence Healing, I couldn’t help but feel vulnerable and a little abashed, not knowing what was going to happen.
18 Months (don’t believe it)
How does this just happen?
Over a week ago, I noticed a few lovely purple flowers popping up in front of my mountain A-frame home in Idyllwild. I supposed they were delightful anomalies, arriving to tickle me and make me happy. Then, I looked closely. They were little orchids.
I wasn’t prepared for what the next few weeks would bring. An explosion of purple, arriving like a stupendous benediction, leaving me thunderstruck with gratitude. Suddenly my little cabin was the prettiest on our street.
What the next few weeks would bring. Oh my God, I am so Loved. Recalibration starts…just like this.
19 Months (don’t believe it)
I’m not fond of Dr. Chan.
Since I was diagnosed in 2020 with a particularly medically aggressive prostate cancer, UCLA has been my primary treatment Ground Zero.
Showing up over the years for treatment has been weird.. I graduated from film school there in 2002, an unlikely and fortuitous success story nobody saw coming (least of all myself). Only 15 people were chosen throughout the world.
AND my mom also received cancer treatment there when I was a kid in the early 80’s. A mixed tradition.
Still, despite his UCLA pedigree, Dr. Chan does not come across as a hopeful guy.
“It appears your cancer is becoming resistant to the hormone therapy. Our current standard of care is now chemo (I had already had surgery, daily radiation, targeted radiation, and over two years of hormone therapy). Based on our studies, the average lifespan if you do chemo is 19 months.”